Beginning in the middle part one...the rant.

...skipping lame "it's my first time blogging" paragraph...

Okay, here's the deal:  I moved to Orem, Utah about nine months ago because I got a full time job at Utah Valley University.  Now I live in a place correctly called "Happy Valley."  Why is this lovely area of the state called Happy Valley you may ask...if you didn't already know Utah County (which is the county just south of Salt Lake City and contains the infamous Provo, Utah home of the BYU cougars) has an uber high rate of antidepressant use.  Everyone here has to "seem" perfect.  It actually seems to be true though.

For example, I have never seen a higher concentration of beautiful women.  Mind you I am not a lesbian, but these girls are gorgeous in a "we fit in with the crowd kind of way."  Thin, big boobs (or no boobs), athletic, with gorgeous clothes from the buckle or aeropostale.

I digress, I said I was beginning in the middle.  Perhaps I should start by explaining why the "undateable" exist.  The "undateable" are the fat and 'ugly' girls of Utah County.  I know, I know, most guys in general don't want to date the fatties or the uglies, but "ugly" and "fat" here have completely different meanings.  Let me explain how this problem exists.  The aforementioned beautiful girl epidemic has contributed greatly.  Of course, so has Hollywood and the porn industry. 

The men of Utah County, specifically the Mormon men, tend to have wicked high expectations of what they want in a woman.  If she is not one of the perfect barbies that litter this county, then she is completely undateable.  Basically, fat means anything over 125, and ugly means no makeup or perfect hair every day.

I thank God for exceptions to rules.  Awesome men and women exist here in Utah County, but they are hard to find.  Join me in my adventure into the dark recesses of "perfection."

Well, now that I've solidified myself as cynical, bitter, old maid...on to my plan to enter the ranks of the "dateable."